Hey Big Guy...

Angela did a great job of saying we're near the end of our journey etc... So I won't do that!

I will share a story though...

As long as I can remember I've been called "big guy." I always hated that. Being self conscious about my size is nothing new, but whenever "big guy," or "big boy" or any other nick name regarding my weight came up I immediately had to act, either laugh it off or come up with a snarky comment of some sort. It was a reflex and defensive mechanism. Most people were not malicious with the nick name, it was just a common name no different than little boy or little girl. Most probably thought they were even being nice!  But it bugged me to no end and made me upset and frustrated, sad, and even more self conscious. That name sucked for me for as long as I can remember. Fast forward to this morning...

I was walking out of the gym this morning and one of the employees said "Did you get after it today big guy?" I had a choice. I could go back to what I know and shrink away, but that's to my mindset any more. I turned to him and said "You're damn right I did!" That may sound super small, but that was a huge shift in mindset for me and helps me understand how far Angela & I have come since June.

One of the many things I've learned on this journey is ownership. I own the crap I put into my body that got me to an unhealthy point. That's on me. No one else, but me. I also own the last 6 months of hard work, healthy changes, frustration, joy, accomplishment and everything else that has come my way since then, AND whatever comes up in the future.

Damn right I'm a big guy. I'm strong, I'm healthy, I can push myself further than I thought possible. I'm also not perfect. I'm a work in progress and I own that too!

Down almost 70lbs and yep I promise that's me! 

 

sometimes you just have to do it

I was working out with a group last Wednesday morning and I was asked to strap my feet into some sort of crazy back extension or crunch machine that brings you parallel with the ground. 

I got in and froze. I couldn't move or balance... frustrated I got off and moved on asking coach T what can I do to get better at that. He told me you just have to do it. Yep, rocket science here folks!

I finished my workout and went back to the machine, stopped thinking about it and did the exercise. It truly was all mental. 

I think that's what has surprised me the most and honestly maybe  is my biggest issue... I think too damn much about not doing the excerise right or not running fast enough, or not lifting enough weight etc... It's almost crippling...

But I've slowly realized that I'm not doing this for anyone else but me and in turn my family so who cares how I do it as long as I'm pushing myself! 

Turn your mind off and let your body sing!

Thanks coach!

I got this! Lessons from my 5 year old

My son taught himself to ride his bike sans training wheels this last week. Before he started he said "I got this" to himself. 

Andy conquered his fear with confidence and again showed me I can do the same. 

The weight loss has slowed down which is expected (I think) but what continues to move is my BMI. I'm not to where I want to be yet but I've made the changes in my lifestyle where I can continue to eat clean and change my body being healthy for myself and my family. I got this... Thanks Andy!

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I'll get better with practice

I was watching my 5 year old playing a dune buggy raveling game on my iPhone yesterday. He was singing quietly to himself while racing but very focused. A minute passed and I watched him come in 4th place... I was ready for tears and frustration from that tiny human, but he shrugged it off and started again.

I asked him if he was upset that he didn't finish first, he looked me square in the eye and said "No daddy but I'll get better with practice!" Something Angela and I have probably said to him dozens of times... so first... parenting win! My kid does listen to me! 

Secondly though he's right. All things get better with practice as long as you shrug it off and move forward. This totally ties back to our journey, practice, practice practice it's not about finishing first (at least right now) it's about practice, learning from our 4th place finishes, shrugging them off and getting back at it. 

Thank you Andy, who knew I would be learning life lessons from my 5 year old! 

I'm Not a Celebrity... But I May Be a Role Model

Much to my chagrin, our video shoots have now been turned into TV commercials... AND people are starting to notice and recognize me [Sigh]. So much for anonymity. I got a few emails and texts asking for my autograph (from very well meaning friends), and asking how I'm dealing with my new "celebrity" status... Well... A celebrity I am not. But... I am a role model... for my kids, and if someone else can get something postie then that's OK with me.

I've lost 50 lbs... that's hard to believe. I've lost the equivalent of my 5 year old. That's crazy. But I still have progress to make... 10 weeks to go... time to refocus on what's important... my health, family & friends... celebrity or not... here I come!

Stay Focused, Stay Humble, Kick Butt

Yesterday, I worked out with my awesome trainer (Coach Troy Eichers) and I learned many things and remembered may more...

I walked in with a little swagger, if you can call it that. I've lost close to 50lbs, I'm excercising more, I'm feeling better, I've cut most of the crap out of my diet, I'm awesome. Then the workout started...and it was HARD. I made the mistake of only really focusing on my cardio endurance. Yes, I lifted weights, but not a lot, and even when I did I just did the things I knew I was good at. Troy pushed me and motivated me to push harder than I thought I could.

I remembered the awesome feeling after a truly grueling workout... I remember the pain that comes the next morning. I remember the migraine that comes when you forget to drink water!

My workout wasn't perfect, and I needed to stop and catch my breath a few times, the thing that stuck out was what coach said throughout the training. Remember this day. Remember how hard it was to start (again) and don't stop. Continue to challenge your body 24/7/365. I went home with a migraine after that session... I was humbled, (and hurting a bit) but refocused and ready to go. 12 weeks left... let's go!

Thank you Angela for pushing me to work with Troy, and thank you Coach for knowing the right buttons to push. I needed that!

It Got Real

I did some unexpected travel this week and couldn't take my meals! I made ok choices but not always the best my weigh in this week showed it too... up 4lbs. Yep that sucks.

Here is what I learned. Even salads have crap in them... Everything has too much salt I've been back on the meal plan for 4 days and I still taste the salt! bah! I learned that my body doesn't need salty crap and it doesn't LIKE salty crap.

But this is real life and I struggled this week and didn't do the things by body is used to. Now it's on me to shake off the bad week learn what I can, and get myself back on track. 

This is another example about healthy lifestyle changes I'm choosing to make better choices NOW, not next Monday or next week (which turns into next month... Then next year). I choose now. So I was back in the gym Saturday and today. 

Failure is a time to learn something about yourself... Not a time to feel sorry for yourself! But the proof is in the pudding so check back next week to see if this is just talk . It's not I promise! Let's go! I can, I will, I AM!

30 What?

So This is silly... But awesome! 

Angela and I were talking goals for the next 12 weeks. Mine was fitting into a 36" waist jeans.  It was a kind of end game goal. 

Tonight she brought a pair of 36 jeans home.  As some motivation. I tried them on never expecting them to ACTUALLY FIT!!!!! I don't even remember the last time I wore 36 jeans. At least 20 years. That in itself is weird to think about but man how cool is that! When we started this journey I was at a 42" waist now a tight 36" waist. 

Guess I need a new goal...😳

Not Hungry

Something I've slowly realized through the first part of our journey is being not hungry. 

Here is what I mean. When I used to eat I would EAT! Afterwards I was stuffed and I believed that to be full. Oh and then  I would have another cherry Coke Zero for good measure. 

Now when I eat our Seattle Sutton meal I'm not hungry. It has taken me almost 2 1/2 months to realize that not hungry for me is probably normal people's full. Hmm... Deep thoughts with Steve!

Suck It In - No More!

Ever since I can remember I've had to "suck in" my stomach. So much so that I think I just did it naturally all the time. It's still bigger than I want it to be, but I don't have to suck it in!

11 weeks really have gone by quickly... I'm at my lightest weight in 6 YEARS. More energy... Check... More fun to be around.... Check (with Angela)... More running with my KIDS Check!

Motivation... CHECK!

l Learned the Hard Way

Yep! I did... Today I went to a conference for work. I wasn't able to warm up my meal so I ate the meal that came with the seminar. Now I felt I made pretty good choices more green on my plate than anything and a small piece of pot roast. Well that piece was too big. It just goes to show that my body doesn't really need salty food red meat! felt totally off the rest of the day. Then I realized... This is how I felt ALL the time! Every now and again in this 9 week (so far) journey I have an aha moment and today was one of them. Feeling crappy all the time should NOT be the norm! 

30lbs down and no signs of stopping even with a pit roast mistake

I can I will I AM and I won't let a small misstep derail my goal! Take that pot roast! 

Who Knew?

This week was a tough one. We had an ice cream truck come to work. I made it all day and then I broke down and had an ice cream sandwich. 300 calories of sandwichy goodness.

We also had a team lunch at a burger only joint in which I could not bring my meals! I had a burger and 6 fries and I was done!

What shocked me the most was my body's reaction to this new "old" onslaught of sugar and red meat. I'll spare you the details, but there is a reason it's supposed to be a rare occurrence.

The best thing is that now my mindset has shifted. Instead of feeling frustrated or depressed that I over ate something, I started fresh today. My mind is right and I'm not beating myself up (which pushed me back to eating more crap!).

Deep thoughts with Steve.

Who Knew New Jean Would Be So Cool

I really needed to buy new pants this week. The old ones were past the trendy baggy. I haven't worn a size 38 jean in 5+ years. Yep I guess I am starting to see a difference. So close to minus 30 lbs.... SO CLOSE!

Boom 25.2 Pounds

OK so it's probably really just 25 pounds lost to date, but I have to fuel some of those competitive juices with Angela :) Bring it on House!

I"m really starting to notice an change in energy now. Probably because I've lost some significant weight. I think we don't always stop and smell the success at times, so this is me celebrating (yay). OK now back at it.

Now that we've been through the meal plan once I'm starting to remember some of my favorites. This is a shameless plug for Seattle Sutton's Healthy Eating, but these are really good! Asian Stir Fry is awesome!

Oh and WTH is Pokemon Go, and why do I see kids walking through the street randomly? If they walk on my lawn. I may freak out.(Yes, I think I will be as awesome as Clint Eastwood when I'm old).

Month 1 - Whew That Was Fast

We are officially through month 1. It's been crazy... Absolutely crazy. Through month one I've been struggling at times and on top of this whole "life change" thing at times too. (Mostly on top of it promise!)

In one month my migraines have stopped from the soda with-drawls. I was so addicted to soda that I would have a migraine if I didn't have "enough" soda during a day. Now I feel lighter, and after week one the migraines are gone! I won't say that i don't crave a tasty cherry zero now and again... or every day... Especially on the stressful days. That was my coping mechanism. It was my routine. But routines can change. I've also found Green Tea with a TINY bit of Stevia to help as well :). It's practical (cheaper) and mostly better for me. Not perfect, but better!

The food has been pretty good. Some days are awesome & some days are just ok. But I can totally tell a difference in the way my body is reacting to the food. It's real food minus all the crap I would put on top of it (salt, sauce etc..) Yes, I said sauce. I'm not sure how Angela & I get along. Speaking of Angela..

My wife is my best friend. I'm not just saying that for points (note I didn't say "brownie" retraining my brain:)). We leaned on  each other a lot, just like we are supposed to do. But now we just get a long so much better. The first few days it was commiserating with each other over the lack of DQ in our diet. But now we push each other. We talk about our food and our plans for the day/week ahead, vs. what time do you want to make/order a pizza. Our relationship was strong before this journey, but through this time together we HAVE to lean on each other. We hold each other up. It's awesome. Really awesome. 

Ok, I'm going to try and post this on Facebook. Even though I thought I never would, and I"m still not really excited about it. In the future I'll try to keep it shorter for those who want to read.

Oh and I've lost 22lbs in 30 days. Holy Shit.

Frustration Kicks In

Ok, when Ang & I started this journey, I really thought it would be easy. I'm overweight and I don't workout often. I dropped 12lbs in 1 week. This is gonna be EASY.

You know what? It's not. I had a bad week. I lost 1 lb. down 16 in total. Progress is progress I get it, but maybe this isn't as easy as I thought. That's a bit of a wake up call. Now it's up to me to make this happen and to take full advantage of this amazing oppourtunity!

Legendary basketball coach John Wooden once said "I'd rather be out front with a banner, than behind with a stick." But today I needed the stick. Thank you to Coach T & my beautiful wife for breaking out the stick. No more talk. Time to do it.

Honey where are my Pants?

The video launched yesterday (seeing yourself on the internet is weird) but I'm pumped to share our journey and if I can help someone out along the way that's awesome. Am I a reality TV star now, aren’t reality TV shows really scripted? Our video wasn’t scripted we answered the questions we were asked and that’s it! Also If I have to ask if I'm a reality star I'm probably not :)

Angela does a good job of saying something thought provoking and smart on her blog. I’m not sure I’m built that way. But to quote Rocky…

“The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows, it's a very mean and nasty place and I don’t care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, nobody is gonna hit as hard as life! But it ain't about how hard you can hit, it's about how hard you can get hit and keep movin' forward, how much you can take...and keep movin' forward.” – Rocky Balboa

Ok for those of you who are rolling your eyes right now. I get it. Life is way more important than weight loss. There are people that are going through way tougher fights than we are. I agree with that and respect the hell out of those people. But, this is our fight and we stand together no matter what. “That’s how winning is done”

Thank you for all of the words of encouragement, we’ll keep rolling!

Food, Family, Friends

Week 2 not so bad! I'm getting used to taking my meals to work etc... and Angela & I have some really solid support from our friends and family. Even coworkers are keeping an eye out for me! 

I really liked the Asian pasta salad this week and the egg bake as well! Good stuff. I think my body is slowly realizing that I don't need to eat until I'm stuffed. I wish my brain could just catch up! 

What is super helpful for me is the support that my friends & family are providing. Eating a meal together is the ultimate communal event. The people you eat with are usually the closed to you and to have them support us in this journey is fantastic! 

So two key dates came up this week. Birthday and Father's day. In past years we would celebrate by going out to Fogo de Chao and eating my weight in meat, and in turn feeling horrible for the next 2-3 days! But this year we at together listening to the kids playing in the pool and enjoying each other's company. I was much less focused on the food and much more focused on the people.

Now to say I didn't make a reservation to Fogo for next father's day.... well I at least thought about it. There is a time and a place for meals like that and frankly we did it way to much.

Now my mind pivots back to the task at hand. Eating healthy and being active. I didn't have 3 workouts this week, but I had 2 and I spent all day Saturday sodding the yard, so that counts too! If yard work isn't real life what is!

I also think I found my saving grace for my sweet tooth. STEVIA. I knew about it but never really thought about it. A little stevia in some black tea fills that urge and I don't feel gross after drinking it! Very nice! 

'Til next time! 

1 Week Down Many to Go!

Hi Internet,

My wife is more of a blogger than I am but here are my week 1 thoughts on our pretty awesome journey with Seattle Sutton's Healthy Eating. When I saw pretty awesome i mean it. I think the idea is pretty awesome, not sure how the practice will be but, it's time to make some changes. I can't out work a crappy diet. That's what I've been trying to do for over a decade. Time to change.

Day 1: From the start the food has been awesome. Now, this is called "Project Real" and if I said I loved all the food from SSHE I'd be lying. I'm not a big fish person so the fish wasn't my favorite. BUT the Asian Stir Fry & Granola cereal are REALLY GOOD! I mean I'd eat that every day good!

Today was a two pronged test, No soda & pizza for lunch. I am/was a heavy soda drinker. Maybe 4-5 cans a day or so. I drank water too, but pop was my default. Lunch, get a pop, afternoon snack pop, dinner pop, after dinner pop... See a pattern here? Also guess what was brought in for lunch, yep. My nemesis pizza! So, I sat in the back and ate my SSHE answered a few questions and heard a lot of the same answers. I couldn't do that, good luck. Damn right good luck, Angela & I are going to rock this thing, then enter the migraine!Ah crap...

 

 
Day 2: Hello Migraine, how I have missed you. Oh wait, you didn't go away yet. So this is the caffeine withdraw. Yeah this sucks. Ok on day two I couldn't handle the migraine, I ate my breakfast and lunch(mozzarella tomato chicken very nice) and I'm drinking a TON of water, I mean bathroom every hour or more type of water and still have the migraine. That sucks. It just does. Going home for a nap before the kiddos come home and I need to function again. Come on day 3! See above video for how I feel today.


Day 3: Hello Migraine, how are you today? Yep still there, but not as bad. Today we had a video crew invade our peaceful home. It felt very "60 minutesish" but cool to tell my story and share it with Angela and our kiddos as well. Awkward but good. It also gave us the opportunity to see what we actually ate for a week. When you eat a hamburger for lunch (no breakfast) a few soda's and pizza for dinner, and then look at it from a day to day level it's not that big of a deal. But, when you have all of the stuff you ate for a week laid out on your kitchen table, and you have to extend the table because you need more room, that's not a good thing. It was actually quite eye opening and scary. Oh and they left it on the table during a lunch break, PLEASE test me again! Had the SSHE pasta bean salad and filled me right up. Take that piles of pizza!



Day 4: Today was the turning point for me. The migraine is gone! I crave soda, I don't think that will change, but the pain is gone!

Another challenge today, all employee meetings with snacks, I know this is crazy, but decided to test myself a little bit. I had 1/2 a brownie. Normally I would have 1 brownie at the beginning, 1 at the end and then take one (or two) up to my desk for later. Fully knowing I"d eat them before I left for the day. I took a brownie and I ate it. Two glorious bites. I'm going to be around brownies, crappy snacks and soda and I need to be myself. I enjoy chocolate, I don't need to have 4 brownies. But it's ok to have 1. Boom mind blown.

Day 5: Frickin Food. Employee round table today and local sandwiches for lunch. But no biggie. I've got my SSHE salad and fruit. I think this would be much harder if the SSHE food wasn't so filling. The big difference that I've noticed is that I'm not stuffed anymore. I think I started to feel like I wasn't full until I was stuffed. Now, I eat the meal and I'm not hungry. I feel good, and the really cool part is I just pick my meal out of the fridge and I'm good to go!

Day 6: Went to a great cycle class and I actually had energy. Class was earlier morning (8:30) and I normally don't eat breakfast. I felt always felt good coming out of the spin class, but tired. Today, I ate some SSHE granola & Yogurt and felt great after the class. Oh, and for fun I jumped on the scale, because I was there and why not.

I changed 2 things for the last 6 days. No soda and I ate Seattle Sutton's meals. If I got hungry I ate a cheese stick or apple. It didn't happen often but it did happen. Picture one is 1 week ago. Picture 2 is today day 6. WOW, this stuff is no joke. I'm game. Let's go.