Wednesday, November 30, 2016

Hey Big Guy...

Angela did a great job of saying we're near the end of our journey etc... So I won't do that!

I will share a story though...

As long as I can remember I've been called "big guy." I always hated that. Being self conscious about my size is nothing new, but whenever "big guy," or "big boy" or any other nick name regarding my weight came up I immediately had to act, either laugh it off or come up with a snarky comment of some sort. It was a reflex and defensive mechanism. Most people were not malicious with the nick name, it was just a common name no different than little boy or little girl. Most probably thought they were even being nice!  But it bugged me to no end and made me upset and frustrated, sad, and even more self conscious. That name sucked for me for as long as I can remember. Fast forward to this morning...

I was walking out of the gym this morning and one of the employees said "Did you get after it today big guy?" I had a choice. I could go back to what I know and shrink away, but that's to my mindset any more. I turned to him and said "You're damn right I did!" That may sound super small, but that was a huge shift in mindset for me and helps me understand how far Angela & I have come since June.

One of the many things I've learned on this journey is ownership. I own the crap I put into my body that got me to an unhealthy point. That's on me. No one else, but me. I also own the last 6 months of hard work, healthy changes, frustration, joy, accomplishment and everything else that has come my way since then, AND whatever comes up in the future.

Damn right I'm a big guy. I'm strong, I'm healthy, I can push myself further than I thought possible. I'm also not perfect. I'm a work in progress and I own that too!

Down almost 70lbs and yep I promise that's me! 


 

Sunday, November 6, 2016

sometimes you just have to do it

I was working out with a group last Wednesday morning and I was asked to strap my feet into some sort of crazy back extension or crunch machine that brings you parallel with the ground. 

I got in and froze. I couldn't move or balance... frustrated I got off and moved on asking coach T what can I do to get better at that. He told me you just have to do it. Yep, rocket science here folks!

I finished my workout and went back to the machine, stopped thinking about it and did the exercise. It truly was all mental. 

I think that's what has surprised me the most and honestly maybe  is my biggest issue... I think too damn much about not doing the excerise right or not running fast enough, or not lifting enough weight etc... It's almost crippling...

But I've slowly realized that I'm not doing this for anyone else but me and in turn my family so who cares how I do it as long as I'm pushing myself! 

Turn your mind off and let your body sing!

Thanks coach!